Pearls Before Swine Creator Interviewed By Ingram Library Services Readers Advisory

Pearls Before Swine Creator Stephan Pastis was recently interviewed by the Ingram Library Services Readers Advisory web site.

April 2008--Volume VI, Issue 4

Genre Chicks

I had the hardest time trying to find a conference room in which to interview Stephan--it's what I get for scheduling an interview on Monday morning. I finally found an empty closet with a phone jack in which to make my call. And I'm very glad I did; Stephan is just as cool as you'd imagine him to be. We talked about everything from Greek mafia hits to Garrison Keillor to Bucky Katt to Stanley Kubrick, and we decided exactly who Spartacus was.

And then I remembered to press record.

Warning: A few crocodiles were harmed during the recording of this interview. But it's okay, because we un-died them afterwards.

Pearls Before Swine Treasuries:
The Crass Menagerie
Lions & Tigers & Crocs, Oh My!
Sergeant Piggy's Lonely Hearts Club

Alethea Kontis: What's the first thing that pops up when you press "play" on your iPod?

Stephan Pastis: It's the Bob Dylan album Time Out of Mind. But if you go by which artist is the most played, it's probably U2.

AK: You've mentioned a passion for Hemingway in other interviews you've done--what are some of your other favorite contemporary authors?

SP: Historians like Robert Caro, Doris Kearns Goodwin, David McCullough…when I do find an author, I tend to pick up absolutely everything he or she has written and immerse myself in the author’s work. I just did that with Stanley Kubrick, actually--I watched something like 13 Stanley Kubrick films back to back.

This year, my goals are to read up on Roman history, Mayan history, Thomas Wolfe, William Faulkner, and I want to cover architecture. I know nothing about architecture.

AK: Is there a reason you don't have characters named "Dog" and "Cat," or did you make some sort of secret pact with Darby Conley?

SP: Dogs and cats are two animals that have been historically too covered on the comics page, so I have to sort of watch that. That said, I do have a new character who is a dog on a leash that I'm really warming up to, and in the next few months there will be a cat who is a very interesting character.

AK: When you sit down to write your strips, do you find that art imitates life, or that life imitates art?

SP: I do the strip in such a way that it's not a one-to-one relationship. I don't see something and it goes into the strip; I sort of let the subconscious run free and what comes out comes out. You know that zone you get in when you're in the car on a six-hour drive, and suddenly you wonder where the last four hours went? That's the zone I'm usually in when I'm writing. I make up these scenarios and put them down. Afterwards, things tend to happen in real life that seem to reflect that. And since I write the strip about eight months in advance, by the time it runs everybody thinks that I wrote it after the event…when it's usually the other way around.

AK: Do you still have the cartoons you drew as a kid?

SP: I do. For some reason, most of those cartoons were based on television commercials. There's one in particular I remember about the Fruit of the Loom dying in the hamper.

AK: Does picture book star Danny Donkey have a publisher yet?

SP: That would be great, wouldn't it? People have asked me about that one, and if there would be an Angry Bob book. They couldn't be by me, of course--they would have to be by Rat. Maybe I'll compile "Rat's Complete Writings" someday.

AK: How many times has Crocodile Bob died?

SP: Well, Angry Bob has died 19 times. I know that because there are nineteen strips--they are all numbered. I call them "Author One" and "Author Two.” I think the last one is "Author Nineteen." The Crocs, oh boy, that's a harder question. I don't track them and I should. There have probably been about 50 to 60 croc deaths. They've died an awful lot. I know Larry died a few times, too. I just conveniently keep going. I don't even bother to un-die them. I make no pretense about having any sort of continuity in my strip.

AK: Now, Larry, he's the one with the wife, right?

SP: There's definitely a family--I have to ask my son this sometimes because I forget their names--but I think his wife's name is Patty and his son's name is Junior. Where they live I don't really know…somehow they're next door to Zebra, and the Fraternity of Crocs is next to Zebra and I don't think they're in the same house. The Lions are on the other side of Zebra, and now he has Hyenas, so the whole thing's all mixed up.

AK: Zebra really does live in a bad neighborhood, doesn't he? Croc Speak is the best, though…the favorite phrase going around here is: "You shut mouf, woomun!"

SP: (laughs) That's a popular line. I used to hear "Hullo, zeeba neighba," but now I hear "You shut mouf," or "Peese shut mouf." I like when they say "Peese."

AK: Since I'm recording this, could *you* please say something in Crocodile Speak?

SP: See, I don't talk like other people hear it. When I do it, I always ruin it for other people. I say, "Hullo, zeeba neighba. Leesen…" and hear something like Russian, but I know that's not how other people hear it and I end up spoiling it for everybody.

AK: You've never accidentally said, "You shut mouf, woomun!" to your wife, have you?

SP: Oh, wow. Wouldn't that be something? I don't think she would be my wife anymore. I do talk Croc to my kids…it's probably pretty annoying for them. I don't think they listen to me.

AK: Is there a reason you chose crocodiles over alligators? Do they live in the Southern Hemisphere?

SP: That's a good question. Why didn't I make them alligators? I know crocodiles are bigger, so they're theoretically more menacing…which makes these guys all the more lame.

"Croc" is just a good sound. A lot of it is based on sound. It's all rhythm. If you've ever watched a stand-up comic--especially the old guys who were really good at it--if they were going along and it came close to the punch line and they said the wrong word and then restated it, the joke was ruined. If it's just a joke, the word doesn't matter, but it has the same effect as a pianist hitting the wrong note. You cannot recapture the song. Once you have people in your rhythm, they will find stuff funny even if it isn't necessarily so.

Sometimes people will ask me to put their name in the strip, but the real reason I don't is because usually rhythmically it doesn't fit. "Bob" is such a great word. It's short, it's funny, it's a stupid verb, it's a whole bunch of things. Anything that's palindromic or repeated syllables: Fifi, Gigi…those are funny. I don't know why.

AK: Do you have a lot of storytellers in your family? (Being Greek I can't imagine you don't…)

SP: Oh yeah, there are relatives who definitely like to tell stories. No writers, though; I don't know where I came from. Milkman, maybe.

AK: With all the morbid humor, do you have an undertaker in the family?

SP: Wait let me think about that a sec…no. But you know, coming from a huge family you go to tons of funerals. I've been a pall bearer maybe 10 times. And when I'm bored waiting in the wings I talk to the undertakers. They are really creepy. I remember one who took great pride in how well he applied makeup. That scared the $%#* out of me. That's just wrong.

AK: How did your parents react when you told them you wanted to write comic strips?

SP: They weren't worried because I had the law thing going--I had done school and grad school and had the degree. It was a side thing I did once I already had done everything. If I had said it to them when I was a junior in high school, I think it probably would have worried my mom, at least. But because of the way I did it, what's the worst that could happen? I could just go back to being a lawyer.

AK: In some way, shape, or form, do any of your characters reflect anyone in real life?

SP: Ummm…er…ew…yes. Rat is clearly me. He's the most natural voice for me by far. If I had my way, I would do only Rat strips. You would not want to spend a whole weekend with me. I would annoy you. Pig is me, but he's also [my wife] Staci to some extent, like the interplay I see sometimes reflects our conversations. Goat is definitely me: smarter, quieter, wants to stay away from everybody. The Zebra and Crocs are nobody. The Duck is me insofar as I hate my neighbors.

If the characters are going to be believable, they all have to be you. Sparky told me that once. I didn't really understand what he meant then, but now I do. Otherwise, you don't have a real good grasp on them. Really, you don't know anyone like you do yourself.

I cannot write from the female perspective; I can't do it convincingly. They turn out very one-dimensional. I admire writers that can switch genders. It's an amazing thing. I'm hoping my relationship with my daughter changes that. I think she changes how I interact with females. I think she's changed me, so I think she might be reflected eventually in a character.

AK: Good for her! So…what is the meanest thing Rat has ever done?

SP: Tearing Cathy's head off and sticking it in a closet and declaring that her strip had become funnier since she could no longer speak. If I could take something back, it would be that, because I now know her and I feel extra bad.

AK: Do you ever "okay it" before you do a parody of another strip?

SP: I do now, only because I know almost everyone. Bil Keane is actually writing the intro to my next book.

AK: Do you feel impeded by today's political correctness?

SP: Oh yeah. Other than Hi and Lois, there's not a single cartoonist who won't tell you that. It impedes you like crazy. If not for that, I would say "sucks" and "screwed" all the time. I could have references to sex or drugs. It's like playing a piano and they only give you the black keys. I want to have South Park or Family Guy's rules. I got to go to the Family Guy studio one time, and I was looking through the storyboards. Every joke I saw I thought: "This would end my career, this would end my career, THIS would end my career…"

AK: Perhaps when you retire you can go out with a bang. Why is it that comic strip writers (Gary Larson, Bill Watterson) tend to suddenly retire?

SP: My theory on that is that it's akin to novel writing. There is a natural length a novel should be. There's a reason you don't see 4,000-page novels. There's a natural arc that even the best writers have to close up at some point. It's about the 15-year mark. Peanuts and Doonesbury went a little beyond that, but by and large there seems to be something magical about the 15-year mark. The secret is to really expand your set of characters, which is something both Sparky and Trudeau did.

http://www.ingramlibrary.com/MRKNG/FD/0408/ra/Genre.html

By George Author Interview on YouTube

By George: Mr. Washington's Guide to Civility Today Author Steven Selzer has been featured in a video on popular website YouTube.com

Steven Selzer has been in private law practice in Montgomery County, Maryland, for 25 years. He has campaigned to increase civil behavior in the legal profession and is a staunch advocate of civility. He is a graduate of George Washington University, both as an undergrad and as a law student. He is also the author of Life's Little Relaxation Book.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6QfcvPGoWc

SPEND LESS MONEY ON GAS

SPEND LESS MONEY ON GAS BUT STILL GET WHERE YOU WANT TO GO!

BEAT HIGH GAS PRICES NOW!
by Diane MacEachern

Author and environmentalist Diane MacEachern has written numerous times about how to help our planet, now she is turning her attention to helping our bank accounts. With gas prices soaring over $4.00 a gallon and no end in sight, it’s no wonder that drivers are looking for ways to cut back on their gas usage. This handy guidebook offers dozens of easy-to-follow tips to help you “beat the pump” and save up to $50 a month in gas. Get helpful info such as:

* How to make gas go farther when you drive to work or go shopping
* Information to help you choose a new fuel-efficient car
* Ways to use the Internet to find the cheapest gas in the neighborhood
and more!

“Eco expert” Diane MacEachern is the author of numerous eco-friendly books and founder of the popular Website biggreenpurse.com.

Beat High Gas Prices Now!
by Diane MacEachern
ISBN-13: 978-0-7407-6002-0
ISBN-10: 0-7407-6002-5
UPC: 050837241954
$8.95 ($12.50 Canada)
Size: 5” x 8”, 80pp, ppb

Things Cooks Love: Implements. Ingredients. Recipes. Spotlighted on Project Foodie

If you love cooking then you probably love cookware; checking out new tools, and gadgets along with buying them and using them to make new and interesting dishes. I’m not a big shopper but walk me past a cooking store and I simply have to go in. And even though I'm a foodie, I often see things that I just don’t know how or why to use. Or I only know of one use and buying something for just one recipe is a bit too much of a luxury. That’s why the new Sur La Table cookbook, Things Cooks Love, with recipes by Marie Simmons is so great. It presents a whole slew of neat cooking tools, pans, and other foodie equipment along with great recipes that use them. For example, below is an overview of a Cazuela pan popular in Spanish cooking along with a recipe for Sea Bass Fillets with Tomatoes and Roasted Red Pepper and Almond Sauce. The recipes also present alternative equipment in case you don’t have all of cookware mentioned in the book but still want to try out the recipes.

Cazuela

From Things Cooks Love: Implements, Ingredients, Recipes
by Sur La Table and Marie Simmons, Andrews McMeel Publishing, 2008

The rustic earthenware cazuela—in Portugal, the same vessel is known as a tacho de barro—is found in the kitchen of every Spanish cook, though Catalonian cooks are especially renowned for their large repertoire of slow-cooked cazuela dishes. Glazed on the inside and unglazed on the outside, the versatile vessel is kiln-fired at a high temperature so that it can tolerate both the direct heat of a stove top and the radiant heat of an oven.

Cazuelas are usually only about 3 inches deep but come in a wide range of shapes—round, square, rectangular, oval—and sizes, including casseroles just large enough for a single serving. All of them are attractive and hold heat—and cold—well, which means they can travel from the stove to the table.

Sea Bass Fillets with Tomatoes and Roasted Red Pepper and Almond Sauce

From Things Cooks Love: Implements, Ingredients, Recipes
by Sur La Table and Marie Simmons, Andrews McMeel Publishing, 2008

Prep 45 min

Cook time 55 min

Serves 4

This recipe starts with the cazuela on the stove top for sautéing, and then, once the fish fillets are added, you slip the cazuela into the oven. The fish is served with a red pepper and almond sauce, a loose adaptation of the Spanish romesco. Any firm white fish fillets can be substituted for the sea bass.

Implements: 12-inch Cazuela or 12-inch Skillet and 2-Quart Shallow Baking Dish, Strainer, Small Skillet, Blender

For the Sea Bass Fillets

• 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
• 1 large sweet onion, cut into ¹⁄8-inch wedges
• 1 clove garlic, sliced paper-thin
• ½ teaspoon sweet paprika
• 1 (28-ounce) can Italian plum tomatoes
• Coarse salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 4 (6-ounce) skinless sea bass fillets
• 2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh Italian parsley or mint, or 1 tablespoon of each

For the Pepper and Almond Sauce

• ½ cup whole natural (skin-on) almonds, coarsely chopped
• 1 clove garlic, coarsely chopped
• 8 jarred piquillo peppers, or 2 large roasted and peeled red bell pepper (page 268)
• 1 teaspoon coarse salt
• ½ teaspoon sweet paprika
• 4 to 6 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, or more as needed
• 1 tablespoon aged sherry vinegar

1. Add the olive oil to a 12-inch cazuela or skillet and heat slowly over medium-low heat. When the oil is hot enough to sizzle a piece of onion, increase the heat to medium, add the onion, and sauté, stirring, for 15 minutes, or until golden. Add the garlic and sauté for 5 minutes, or until softened. Stir in the paprika.

2. Set a strainer over a bowl and empty the can of tomatoes into the strainer. Use your hands to break the tomatoes into chunks, squeezing out and discarding the seeds. (Freeze the tomato juices for soup or another use.)

3. Add the broken, seeded tomatoes to the onion mixture and simmer over medium heat for 10 minutes, or until the mixture has cooked down. Add ½ teaspoon of salt and a grinding of pepper and remove from the heat.

4. While the tomato mixture is simmering, preheat the oven to 400°F.

5. If using a cazuela, arrange the fish fillets in a single layer on top of the tomato mixture. Season the fish with salt and pepper and sprinkle with the parsley. Place a spoonful of the tomato mixture on top of each fillet. If using a skillet, transfer the tomato mixture to a 2-quart shallow baking dish and arrange the fish fillets in a single layer on top. Season with salt and pepper and sprinkle with the parsley. Place a spoonful of the tomato mixture on top of each fillet.

6. Place the cazuela or baking dish in the hot oven (it’s fine to put it in a hot oven because it has been preheated on the stove top) and bake the fish for 15 minutes, or until the thickest part of a fillet is opaque, rather than translucent, when tested with the tip of a small knife.

7. While the fish is baking, make the sauce: Put the almonds in a small, dry skillet, place over medium-low heat, and heat, shaking the pan, for 5 minutes, or until lightly toasted. Let the almonds cool slightly and then transfer to a blender. Add the garlic, peppers, salt, and paprika, and process until pureed, stopping to scrape down the sides of the blender as needed. With the motor running, add 4 tablespoons of the olive oil in a thin, steady stream. Taste and add more olive oil as needed to correct the balance. Add the vinegar and process to combine. Alternatively, make the sauce in a mortar: First crush the garlic and salt with a pestle. Then add the almonds and pound until the mixture forms a paste. Add the peppers and pound until blended. Slowly add the olive oil, pounding until the mixture is light and smooth. Add the vinegar and stir to blend. You should have about 1 cup of sauce. Taste and add more salt as needed. Transfer to a small serving bowl.

To serve, place the cazuela in the center of the table. Pass the sauce.

About Things Cooks Love: Implements. Ingredients. Recipes.

The first in a series books by Sur La Table, speaks to the love that cooks of all levels feel for their tools. Whether you're passionate about the gorgeous copper pot you just received as a gift, a rice cooker you have always wanted to try, or your grandmother's well-aged cast-iron skillet, award-winning author Marie Simmons provides inspiration to make the best use of your cookware along with delectable recipes to enhance the experience.

http://www.projectfoodie.com/spotlights/cookbooks/things-cooks-love.html

Stupid History: Tales of Stupidity, Strangeness, and Mythconceptions Throughout the Ages Is Best-Seller

Stupid History: Tales of Stupidity, Strangeness, and Mythconceptions Throughout the Ages
by Leland Gregory

Currently #1 in quality paperback books at Borders;
#11 on Bookscan paperback books; (#2 in humor paperbacks on Bookscan)

Everyone knows that the Greeks created smooth, white marble art right? Not according to Stupid History (Andrews McMeel Publishing, $9.99). It turns out that those works of art were actually painted in bright colors and eventually the color faded to what’s left today.

Another little known history gem: Even though most of us believe that Benjamin Franklin discovered electricity, the Greeks had it figured out long before his time. Franklin’s infamous kite and key experiment was only testing the electric nature of lighting.

Just how many other historical tales are actually untrue? Luckily, Stupid History sheds some much needed light on these and many other false historical assumptions. This entertaining volume not only corrects historical inaccuracies, but also offers little known facts and quotes to entertain every reader.

Imagine everyone’s shock when you tell them that the Dead Sea is a really a lake!

Stupid History: Tales of Stupidity, Strangeness, and Mythconceptions Throughout the Ages by Leland Gregory
Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC
Price: $9.99 ($12.50 Canada)
ISBN: 978-0-7407-6054-9
Paperback: 5 x 7, 320 pages

Things Cooks Love Featured in Chicago Tribune

Things Cooks Love: Implements. Ingredients. Recipes. by Sur La Table and Marie Simmons and an interview with Marie are featured in Chicago Tribune:

By Emily Nunn | Tribune reporter
June 4, 2008

Thirty years ago, Marie Simmons never could have written anything like her new book, "Things Cooks Love: Implements. Ingredients. Recipes"(Andrews McNeel, $35). Of course, nobody else could have either.

Back when Simmons was starting her career in the food business—she's now a popular teacher, award-winning cookbook author (she has written more than 20), syndicated newspaper columnist and monthly columnist for Bon Appetit magazine—American cooks just weren't all that curious about how to use such multi-culti equipment as a cataplana or a chitarra.

Those are just two of the 100-odd "things" that Simmons' large and lushly attractive book—the first in a series coming from cookware retailer Sur La Table—teaches readers to use in making her companion recipes, all of which reflect an expanding interest in global cuisine.

"The concept was very astute of Sur La Table," said Simmons recently, over pizza at Osteria Via Stato, while in town to promote the book. "It's based on the fact their customers kept coming up and asking how to use things available in the stores. They just said, 'Hey, we've got to get this in a book.'"

Which could lead you to believe that Simmons has simply written a gorgeous kitchenware catalog for Sur La Table—if it weren't for the fact that no brands are mentioned in the book's three major sections ("Essential Cookware and Tools," "Cooking with Kitchen Essentials," and "Globe Trotting Kitchen Essentials"); none of the equipment, which ranges from the humble whisk to the lovely Indian karahi (a cast-iron skillet with high, rounded sides and large loop handles) is sold exclusively at the store; the recipes do, as she intended, "sound luscious"; and Simmons always recommends an alternative to a piece of equipment. A really good pommes Anna pan is "a $475 pan, but I say you can use an iron skillet," she said with a laugh.

Even as a veteran, Simmons said, writing the book—which is intended both for beginners and advanced cooks—opened her up to new cooking experiences.

"It was inspiring. . . I learned so much," she said. "I'd never used the chitarra," she added, referring to the Italian stringed tool (the name translates as "guitar") for cutting pasta. She now uses it "all the time" to make the book's rosemary whole-wheat breadsticks.

"I'd never used a cataplana, that's the Portuguese domed pan—the stew is fabulous," she said. But using a large granite mortar and pestle instead of a blender to make pesto, she said, was the most fun. "There was a huge difference with the flavor," she said, citing the "unscientific" theory that steel blender blades dull the flavor "You start with garlic, salt, pine nuts, then add the basil, little by little, and you smash smash smash, then slowly drizzle the oil in. ... It smells so different.

"I think it's more tactile and because it's more tactile, it tastes better," she added.

Which goes to her idea that good cookware should make you "more intimately involved with the food."

And it may explain why what a person chooses to cook with can be as personal as what he or she buys to wear.

"It's sort of like shopping for shoes," Simmons said. "You have your practical flats you wear all of the time, and then there's the little pair of strapless backless heels you just have to have. You won't wear them as much, but you're going to love them.

"That's the way I feel about the cataplana or the tagine," she said. (A tagine is a shallow, glazed terra-cotta, stainless-clad, or cast-iron vessel with a high conical lid.) "You won't necessarily use them every day. You're going to use it, though, and you're going to love it; and when you're not using it, it's going to be sitting there for you to admire. That's the kind of love affair that cooks have with their cookware."

http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/food/chi-marie-simmons-cookbook-4jun04,0,997214.story

Things Cooks Love Reviewed on Apartment Therapy-The Kitchn Blog

Things Cooks Love: Implements. Ingredients. Recipes. by Sur La Table and Marie Simmons is reviewed by Sara Kate Gillingham-Ryan on the Apartment Therapy-The Kitchn blog.

Just as we were in the midst of the Kitchn's inaugural Kitchn Cure (eight fun-filled weeks of kitchen cleaning, organizing, stocking, cooking, ending with a big bang of a party in May), a book called Things Cooks Love: Implements. Ingredients. Recipes. (Andrews McMeel Publishing, $35) landed on my desk.

I kept calling it Things Cooks Need, because that's where my mind was, guiding Cure-takers toward cleaning out their cupboards to leave only what they really need to cook well.

I barely had time to glance at it before I left on a business trip. And, I'll be honest, I was skeptical. The book comes from Sur La Table (and is written by a lovely food writer named Marie Simmons) and is based around the gear you have in your kitchen. Hmmmm, Sur La Table puts out a book whose recipes are based on cooking implements. I smelled a marketing ploy.

And then I went to New Orleans for the International Association of Culinary Professionals conference and found myself on the very first night sitting next to Marie Simmons, the author of the book. She is absolutely delightful, extremely knowledgeable, and a great dinner companion. We both had that Speckled Trout Amandine.

I asked her point blank about my suspicions and she told me about how the book came to be, making me feel much better about the book.

It was of paramount importance to her that each recipe's implement suggestions included alternatives. Take, for example, the recipes for using a tagine. Simmons suggests a Dutch oven or a braiser. I might have gone even further to suggest any oven-safe pan covered tightly with foil. It was also critical, Marie told me, that the book not tout brand names. And it doesn't. Sure, most of what you find in the pages is available at Sur La Table.

Getting past the fraction of the book that is actually dedicated to kitchen implements, you'll find original recipes, tips on things like making bread crumbs, how to cut a mango (or read it here) and how to trim an artichoke, and a rundown on various ethnic pantries (the Mexican Pantry includes a list of all those confusing dried chile varieties).

This would be a great book to give a newlywed, or someone just starting their first kitchen who may be faced with gifts they don't necessarily know how to use. So, if you do find yourself owning a tagine, you at least can read about how to use and care for it before deciding to return it.

I might add that if you do decide to return that tagine and it came from a store that carries Things Cooks Love (like Sur La Table), get the book instead. Or come back on Thursday when we'll be giving away five copies.

http://www.thekitchn.com/thekitchn/book-reviews/book-review-things-cooks-love-047379